Adventure 16: Five Guys

Five Guys (website)
517 State St.
3 Adjectives: Showy, convenient, filling.
Price: burger (3-6)
Authenticity:
Atmosphere:
Overall:
Veganness:
Other Opinions: dailycardinal, badgerherald, isthmus, yelp, quomodocumque...
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Although I'm probably going to get kicked for doing this, Five Guys is definitively getting a 3-star in my book. A 3-star in being the best cheap burger joint downtown, that is. After the restaurant opened in March, I have seen a constant stream of people lining up for the food. Apprehensive about the long wait, I finally visited on a day I had some free time. Surprisingly, the line at the burger joint moves very fast - especially for a place that cooks the never-frozen meat on the spot. If you don't like any wait, there are boxes and boxes of self-serve peanuts for the stay.

The design of Five Guys can be described with the cliche "If you've got it, flaunt it." The restaurant does just that. The checkered walls are plastered with articles about it success (most notably "Why go to McDonald's if you can go to Five Guys?"), and there's even a bulletin board with notecards for kids to draw what they most like about Five Guys. Like every other hour I pass by Five Guys, the interior was filled with college students. Luckily, the joint seems to have their calculus down and the rate of getting your food seems to equal the rate of sitting and eating so that there is practically no wait for seating once you have paid for your grub.

Food served at Five Guys comes in four simple nouns: burgers, hot dogs, grilled cheese, and fries. One quirk is that the normal burger has two patties while the "little" denotes only one patty. Although the menu is limited, the restaurant is extremely good at what it serves. All you have to do is pay for the base price and all the toppings are free. This is especially exciting for a topping-lover like me who often has to ponder over the value of adding 50 cents for lettuce.

My burger was nice and juicy and the cajun fries I got with it were great. My only complaint about Five Guys is that their bread is a little soggy and the eating of my ambitiously topping-filled burger soon got messy. However, that is partly the fun of it. In addition, I can't imagine this being a very vegetarian-friendly locale, unless you order the suspiciously titled "veggie or grilled cheese" and go for a topping sampler.

Eating at Five Guys is like being able to enjoy Madison's famed bratfest at your convenience: the food is cheap but tasty and the atmosphere is wonderfully collegiate. I definitely foresee myself returning to Five Guys whenever I want to satiate my desire to have a nice classic burger.


Five Guys, an all-American burger joint, is really not the kind of place a vegan would normally go. However, after Jahboh showed me the number of google searches with the key words "vegan" and "five guys," I decided to check it out. As it turned out, it is possible to order a full vegan meal at this place. One can order fries, which are vegan (cooked in peanut oil). One can also order a "veggie" sandwich, i.e. bread with some selection of veggies from a list. I did not try the veggie sandwich, but I did split an order of fries with Jahboh. They were very greasy and salty (the bag of fries was already see-through when it was handed to us), but this is probably what made them taste good.